Letter

Dear Professor Blackstone,


My name is Chiew Kang Le, and I am writing this letter to introduce myself as one of your students in your effective communication classes. I am a year 1 student undertaking a degree in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services). I have graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in Hotel & Leisure Facilities Management.

When I was young, I always conversed in mandarin with my parents. I prefer to converse in mandarin whenever possible as I feel more comfortable speaking in mandarin. With the 'practice' I have for mandarin since I was young, I think this is the reason why I am able to converse more naturally in mandarin than in english. I feel that a person can portray their image to others base on the way they speak, and therefore I have huge admiration for individuals that are able to speak with confidence and clarity. English has always been my weakest subject. The two learning goals I have for this effective communication module are to improve my writing skills and speak to people with confidence.

One communication strength I think I am an attentive listener. During my internship in Conrad Hotel, I have learnt that listening is as important as speaking to the hotel guest. Listening helps me to accurately interpret what the guest wants and be more efficient in the task that was assigned to me by my supervisors.

The weakness I have in my communication skills will be my inability to speak clearly. The issue that I am facing is that I do not know how to put my ideas into sentences. To make things worse, I tend to mumble as I am not confident when speaking to people. I will usually take a considerable amount of time to think of how to speak in a way that others can understand me. 

Under your guidance, I hope I can be able to get out of my comfort zone and converse naturally with people in English.

Yours sincerely, 
Chiew Kang Le

*Edited on 29/11/19

Commented on the following blogs:
Joel
Venjamin
Boon Kiat

Comments

  1. Hi Kang Le,

    Pardon me if whatever I write is wrong.
    Personally, I feel that the content is clear & concise. For this sentence "I hope that through this effective communication module, I can improve my writing skills and speak to people with confidence", I think it will be better to place it at the last paragraph as it is part of goals. I think that English does not need to be capitalize.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Venjamin. I will make the necessary changes based on your feedback.

      Delete
  2. Hi Kang Le, just a few pointers to take note:

    1) "I will prefer to converse in mandarin..." (paragraph 2 line 1) , "To make things worse, I will tend to mumble..." (paragraph 4 line 2) and "I will usually take a considerable amount of time...." (paragraph 4 line 3) Sometimes less is more, and I personally feel that you do not need to add "will" in each of the sentences, allows the sentences to flow better.

    2) "One communication strength I think I have is listening skill." (paragraph 3 line 1) What is this "listening skill"? It would be more appropriate if you used more descriptive words to up-sell yourself like "good/attentive listener" instead of "listening skill".

    Overall,
    Content: Clear but not as concise
    Organization: Would be best if you had shifted the two learning goals stated in paragraph 2 to the last paragraph, so as to add clarity to readers on what you wish to achieve and maybe further elaborate how these goals would add value to your endeavours.
    Capitalization: As what Venjamin has pointed out above.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Joel for taking the time to review and read through the letter written. I will make the necessary changes based on your feedback.

      Delete
  3. Hi Kang Le, your letter was clear but the structure of the letter can be better.

    1.I am referring to your learning goals that is at the end of your second paragraph. It would be better to shift it to the last paragraph. Right after you have shared your strength and weakness.

    2." I will prefer to converse in mandarin whenever possible as I feel more comfortable when speaking in mandarin." You may want to consider this: I prefer to converse in mandarin whenever possible as I am more comfortable conversing in mandarin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jun Heng for the constructive feedback. I will make the necessary changes based on the points in your feedback.

      Delete
  4. Dear Kang Le,

    Thank you for this fairly well developed and informative letter. I feel that, in terms of communication strengths and weaknesses, you’ve provided the sort of concrete details that allow us readers to learn something meaningful about your background and who you are. t's interesting to me, for example, that you grew up speaking Mandarin. That undoubtedly impacts your comforrt level in commmunicating in English. Still, you should see it as a positive since in fact you are now fluent in two languages.

    Even with such fluency, you can polish your English. As Joel notes, in the 2nd paragraph, your verb tense use is not accurate. You don't need 'will' since you are describing not a future but a current situation, in present tense. Here is another sentence with a tense error:
    -- When I was young, I always converse in mandarin with my parents. > It should be: When I was young, I always conversed in Mandarin with my parents.

    Do you know why?

    You also explain your comm skills weaknesses and strength with good detail. I appreciate that.

    Let's work together to improve your writing and to address your other goals this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Professor for taking the time to read through the letter I have written. I will make the necessary changes based on your feedback.

      Delete

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